JOURNAL
Why Kids Need Hard Things More Than Easy Wins
As parents, coaches, and leaders, we all want kids to feel confident.
The problem is that somewhere along the way, confidence became confused with comfort.
We started removing friction instead of teaching resilience through it. We started protecting kids from failure instead of helping them understand what failure is actually for. We created environments where participation mattered more than preparation and where discomfort became something to avoid instead of something to grow through.
And I think we're now seeing the effects of that everywhere.
Anxiety is higher. Resilience is lower. Attention spans are shorter. Kids are connected to everything digitally, yet often disconnected from challenge, responsibility, and real-world confidence.
That doesn't mean this generation is weak.
It means they're under-trained for adversity.
The older I get, the more I realize one of the biggest misconceptions in youth development is the idea that confidence comes first. It doesn't. Confidence is usually the result of doing something difficult repeatedly until your mind realizes you can handle it.
That's why sports matter. It's why responsibility matters. It's why hard conversations matter. Not because every kid needs to become an elite athlete or high performer, but because challenge shapes identity. The kid waking up early for practice, the student studying when nobody is watching, the athlete learning how to lose, and the teenager choosing to keep going after failure are all building something far more important than a result.
They're building confidence.
Research from organizations such as the American Psychological Association and Harvard's Center on the Developing Child continues to support something many parents and coaches already know intuitively: resilience develops through manageable challenge, support, recovery, and repetition—not through avoiding difficulty altogether.
And honestly, that makes sense.
Most of the lessons that stay with us came from things that challenged us. Not the easy wins. The difficult ones. The ones that forced us to grow.
"We don't believe growth comes from avoiding hard moments. We believe growth is built because of them. Confidence is earned slowly—through repetition, resilience, failure, and continuing to show up when things get uncomfortable."
— BRENT WILTZ, FOUNDER OF SOREN
That belief became a major part of SOREN.
Not because we think kids need more pressure. They don't. But they do need preparation.
Life doesn't remove challenge. Failure eventually arrives for everyone. The question is whether kids encounter difficulty for the first time as adults or gradually learn how to navigate it throughout childhood.
One of the healthiest lessons we can help young people discover is simple: they are capable of more than they think. Not because someone tells them, but because they experience it for themselves. That experience often comes through sports, movement, discipline, leadership, teamwork, setbacks, and responsibility.
At SOREN, we've never believed competing, learning, and growing only applies to sports. The deeper idea is that the habits built through challenge carry into every part of life. Discipline. Leadership. Accountability. Confidence. Resilience. Self-respect.
Those traits aren't downloaded instantly through motivation or social media. They're built slowly through lived experience.
And ironically, many of the moments kids dislike in real time become the moments they value most later. The exhausting practice, the setback, the loss, and the challenge they almost quit are often the exact experiences that shape who they become.
Technology will continue changing the world. Artificial intelligence will reshape education, careers, communication, and daily life. Information is becoming infinite. Attention is becoming fragmented. Which means resilience may become even more valuable in the future, not less.
The ability to focus, adapt, persevere, communicate, and continue moving through adversity will remain one of life's greatest advantages.
And that foundation starts young.
Not through perfection.
Not through pressure.
But through meaningful challenge.
Because I don't think kids need easier paths.
I think they need stronger foundations.
They need parents, coaches, teachers, mentors, and communities willing to remind them that discomfort is not the enemy. In many cases, it's the process.
And often, the hard things kids go through today become the confidence they carry for the rest of their lives.
Research & Development Sources Referenced
American Psychological Association (APA)
Harvard Center on the Developing Child
Positive Youth Development Through Sport research
Resilience and Adversity Development studies
Child & Adolescent Development research
Topics Discussed
Resilience
Confidence Building
Youth Development
Growth Through Adversity
Character Development
Youth Sports
Mental Toughness
Leadership
Parenting
Identity Formation
Positive Youth Development
Child Psychology
Related Journal Entries
Why the Moments Matter More Than the Score
The Power of Environment: Building Kids the Right Way
Confidence Is Built Through Small Wins
Why Mentors Matter
Learning to Lose