JOURNAL
Raising Kids Who Can Handle Disappointment
The older I get, the more I realize disappointment isn't something we should always try to protect young people from.
It's something we should help them learn to navigate.
No parent enjoys watching their child experience disappointment. Getting cut from a team. Falling short of a goal. Losing a championship. Not getting the part in the play. Receiving a grade they worked hard to avoid. Those moments hurt, and our instinct is often to make the pain disappear as quickly as possible.
But some of life's greatest lessons arrive disguised as disappointment.
The truth is, life doesn't always go according to plan. There will always be setbacks, closed doors, unexpected failures, and moments when effort doesn't immediately produce the outcome we hoped for. While we can't prevent those experiences, we can help young people learn that disappointment isn't the end of the story. More often than not, it's where the next chapter begins.
Research surrounding resilience, youth development, and growth mindset consistently points toward the same conclusion. Children who are supported through challenges, rather than protected from every challenge, are more likely to develop emotional resilience, adaptability, confidence, and perseverance over time. Disappointment, when paired with encouragement and perspective, becomes a teacher instead of a barrier.
And honestly, that makes sense.
When I think back on the moments that shaped my own life, very few came from everything working out exactly as planned. More often, they came from the opportunities I didn't get, the mistakes I made, the setbacks I had to work through, and the moments that forced me to become stronger than I was before.
Those experiences didn't define me.
The way I responded to them did.
At SOREN, we believe one of the greatest gifts we can give young people isn't protecting them from disappointment. It's helping them discover that they are capable of moving through it.
Every setback teaches patience.
Every challenge builds perspective.
Every obstacle creates an opportunity to grow stronger than before.
Those lessons aren't always easy.
But they're often the ones that stay with us the longest.
"Some of the strongest people I've ever met weren't the ones who avoided disappointment. They were the ones who learned that disappointment doesn't determine your future. Your response does. Every setback is an opportunity to become someone stronger than you were the day before."
- BRENT WILTZ, FOUNDER OF SOREN
The goal isn't to raise children who never experience failure.
The goal is to raise young people who know failure doesn't define them.
Who understand that setbacks are temporary.
Who have the courage to try again after disappointment.
Who continue believing in themselves when things don't go their way, because confidence isn't built by avoiding difficult moments. It's built by discovering you're capable of moving through them.
In the end, that may be one of the greatest advantages we can help a young person develop.
Not the ability to avoid disappointment.
The ability to keep moving forward because of it.
Research & Development Sources Referenced
American Psychological Association (APA)
Harvard Center on the Developing Child
Growth Mindset Research
Positive Youth Development Research
Resilience & Adversity Studies
Social & Emotional Learning (SEL) Research
Topics Discussed
Youth Development
Resilience
Growth Mindset
Confidence Building
Disappointment
Character Development
Parenting
Emotional Resilience
Identity Formation
Compete Learn Grow
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